3 more days, baby :(

The 19th cannot come any sooner.  

Marek

That's the day I'll learn if I'm clear of MRSA.  My son and I have been crying for each other since I got discharged from the hospital.  We've been in separate bedrooms, we can't sit next to each other...my God, I can't even touch my own baby boy or put him to sleep.  It's been so hard.  No matter how many times we try to explain to him that his momma's sick, he just keeps trying to be near me, keeps wanting to play with me.  

Lately, he's been "hug-ambushing" me.  Each time I pass by his chair, he jumps up and grabs me from behind.  After which, I half-heartedly try to get him off me.  Other times, he just starts running after me, screaming, "I'll kiss you, momma!"  And of course I run away from him like a madman.  

It does nothing to convince him that I don't want to play with him, though.  That's why he gets so upset because he knows I want to, but for reasons that his young mind cannot comprehend, he's just not supposed to be anywhere near his momma.  (For those of you out there who don't know, MRSA stands for methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus - a “staph” germ that does not get better with the first-line antibiotics that usually cure staph infections.
When this occurs, the germ is “resistant” to the antibiotic.  The scary part is that it is spread by skin-to-skin contact.)

So you see how hard it's been for us both.  The simplest act of showing a mother's love - touching your child and holding him near your heart - is something that I cannot even do.  

My next check-up is on the 19th.  I really, really hope that the doctor will have good news for me and that I'm cured of MRSA.  I have to be able to go back to work and provide for my son.  But most importantly, I have to be able to wrap my arms around my baby boy and kiss him like there's no tomorrow, so that he knows that his momma loves him so much - more than anything in the world.